When Children Bite! 

You turn around to pick up a few stray toys and it happens!  Jessica lets out a piercing scream.  You rush over and there’s the tell-tale sign—red teeth marks on Jessica’s arm. 

Biting is one of the most difficult behaviors to deal with in young children.  Biting is very similar to hitting but it is more dangerous.  Young children have more power in their jaw than in their arms so the damage is more severe.  And it can happen in an instant—even if you are standing right there!

Biting is quite common among toddlers and is a very normal reaction for this age group.  Children bite for many reasons.  Sometimes they are teething and the biting feels good.  Others seem to enjoy the strong reaction they get.  Sometimes it starts out as a kiss and it just goes too far.  Most of the time though, biting occurs when a child is frustrated and does not know what else to do.  For example, the activity may be too difficult for the child.  Or there may be too many children for the child to deal with. Or a child may be angry because someone tried to take a toy away.  Because the child has not yet learned appropriate words or actions, he/she resorts to biting.

There are many things you can do to eliminate the biting.

Change the Situation

• Provide easier toys and activities for the child.

• Provide more toys so there is less fighting over the toys. 

• Purchase more than one of popular toys so very young children will not have to wait long to play with them.

• Decrease the number of children the child plays near.

• Shorten the playtime or watch closely to see when the child starts to ’lose it’. 

Teach Acceptable Alternatives to Biting

• Teach the child to say “Stop” if another child is doing something he doesn’t like. 

• Substitute a teething ring if she looks like she is about to bite.

 Provide close supervision

• Stay very close to the child, especially if you think biting is likely to occur.

• If the child does bite, immediately remove him from the others—after you make sure the other child is OK and have given them comfort and attention.  Briefly explain that biting hurts and it will not be allowed. 

 Compliment children for appropriate behavior

• Compliment the child when he is appropriate with others. This will help the child realize you value this kind of behavior.  It will also help build the child’s self-esteem. 

In a group setting it also is important to talk with the family.  Do not name names, but talk to the parents of the child who is biting and the parents of the other children.  Assure the families that biting, although it is serious and not to be tolerated, is quite normal in very young children.  Explain why biting occurs and the techniques you are using to help the child overcome the problem.  This shows the parents you are knowledgeable about young children and on top of the situation.   

Dealing with a child who bites is challenging, but your efforts will help the child take one more step towards independence and self control.

Adapted from an article from the National Child Care Information Center